Missing my blog :'(

Umm it's been so long since I posted something in my blog :(

:X

Just wanted to say hello to myself ha ha =))

Journey- Ultimate Experience..

I feel fortunate to have to travel almost everyday. It's a one hour journey to my college in an ordinary bus, which only provides many more people to learn from. Welcome to the real world.. :D

Every time, only the mode of the journey retains which offers every day a new experience and new bunch of strangers. There are certainly unlimited sources if we wanna really learn from life.

And I feel the progress of life as the bus moves from one stage to another B-)

At each stage, it's mandatory, as yu can guess, few get down and few enter into.

The same way we miss some people and happen to meet new ones.

And it might sound silly to yu, but to me.

When I miss a bus, in most cases which happens because driver proceeds with out stopping for bus is already crowded. I get the next bus obviously more comfortable.

It's like, putting in my words, God grants us the best by putting us on hold for sometime.

Cheers !! :)

A lesson for a lifetime..

I always carry a quest inside me and when I find answers to one of them,

I would always be mesmerized at the gracious way Sai answers all my doubts.

I'm blessed with a brother who is 2 and half years elder to me, who loved me since I knew him ie; since the day we met.

I can remember how he used to hold my hand when crossing the road,

how he used to caress me to wipe my tears (especially while watching movies together),

how he used to feed me when I didn't feel like eating,

how he used to share all his secrets with me,

how he used to be very eager to let me experience those he enjoyed a lot,

and how he used to love me even more than my daddy, to whom I'm everything.

He used to visit me in my hostel, take me out, spending as much time as possible with me.

Sometimes, when not going out, he used to make me sit on his bike where he would stand next to us ( his bike and me )

and we talk for hours. All along, he would remain standing.

And it was nothing for him when I offer him to sit or think of an alternative.

I can remember a thousand other ways in which he made me feel like a princess.

And obviously, needless to explain any further,

he'd one I love the most, next to my father.

I don't have enough courage to lie that we never fought.

I'm the one who yells and who apologizes the next minute.

He's very much used to that and sometimes he even used to ignore my unnecessary cries pointed at him.

I never had any idea, a part of him might be hating me so much until, on Ugadi, 2 years ago,

this one big bad incident took place.

If there's something I could take it back it would be that day with out slightest doubt.

I shouted at him when he didn't answer one of my questions and scolded him so badly that it totally pissed him off.

I don't really know what I was doing when I was doing that,

but that won't erase anything.

So this is the part which annoyed him the most.

With full of venom in my words, I suggested him to go kill himself.

Realizing how I hated to put them here in words,

no wonder he started gathering all the hatred which was buried deep inside him.

Sorry to use the word "hatred" too many times but that's what happened.

It was two years ago and he still doesn't talk with me.

Despite all my trials to say sorry, and the number of times I wept for him,

every time I missed him,

even my parents did their best to convince him.

Due to my ill luck and very bad behavior, everything had failed.

He wouldn't even wish me on my birthdays and consider my wishes fr his birthdays either.

And I sometimes describe myself as the best sister.

When I do that, my soul mutters to me, "you're the worst idiot!", every time.

Hmm, now my doubt is,

how could he hate me so much that even my endless tears for him could not move him?!

Hoe could he forget all those best times we had together?!

How could he not miss me?! And so on ...

Yesterday, in a shared auto, a mother with two girl children, travelled with me.

Out of my habit, I was observing them.

I could see the hurt on elder girl's face when she wanted to have something which is available for a moment and unavailable the next moment as her younger sister took over only because she's younger according to their mother.

I know three of them share great love for each other and elder sister who gave up (sacrifice might be the wrong word)

had seen the better side of it.

At least, she made her little sister happy.

But I couldn't help wondering could her heart forget this

as easily as she did?!

Don't take me wrong for my own sake.

All I mean is, it would look like

everything-is-nice for the moment

but the effect will remain.

I guess so.

I know it's foolish to apply this to all siblings who're still very happy together.

But I never want to forget this one lesson all my life

cause I know better than all of them

how it hurts bot being able to have the comfort of having a brother - A own brother

who once loved me as much as he hates me now.

No one can steal my Dreams..

Someone can make me love,

so much that I can give up anything for just being held by them.

Someone can make me hate,

so much that I wish could never have came across them.

Someone can make me smile,

so much that I'd never need anything else.

Someone can make me cry,

so much that I'd never wanna see them in my whole life.

Someone can make me regret,

so much that I forget almost every reason about which I must be very thankful.

Someone can make me forget how graceful the world is by hurting me so much.

Someone can make me crave like anything for nothing.

Someone can deny all my wishes.

Someone can prove me all wrong.

Someone can defeat me.

Someone can over burden me.

---

I don't have any problem to accept how vulnerable sometimes I become.

---

But still I can cherish just one thing.

No1 can ever steal my dreams from me.

I'm my best friend..

When something hurts you too much,

When you can not see any light,

When everything seems unfair,

When you've nothing left to curse about,

Just get to realise,

How sweet God is towards you,

Thinking of you every minute,

To create as many hurdles as you could face,

So you can be morally developed,

Because that's for what God gave you birth and made you experience all the bliss.

There's nothing for no reason.

Be happy, no matter how cruel the world seems, just for being a part of it.

And thus attaining a chance to know the Almighty.

After all, nothing, not even the pain, is as bitter as losing His presence, even for a split moment.

Let alone, missing Him all the life by not understanding the intentions behind all the misery.

Bless you..

P.S. I wrote it fr myself to make me smile, to get me out of endless misery..

Met Aruna Pappu -- Wonderful Person..

She's actually a wonderful writer.

But I would like to remember her as the most wonderful person, cuz as we know thoughts reflect words and I fell in love wid her writings <3

Din't meet her in person, not even talked for hours.

10 mins, more precisely, 9 mins and 45 secs :D

Her love toward books is contagious :)

Talk fr sumtime wid her and no wonder yu'll start thinking when to start reading which book. B-)

Love yu Aruna :)

Love yu for yur writings :)

http://arunapappu.wordpress.com/

I never thought I wud be able to talk and discuss my fav topic--books--wid any writer, till date.

Yu made it possible today and I'm thankful to yu rest of my life. :)

God bless yu so much :)

Keep writing and rocking :D

Destiny :)

If it's the destiny which made you sad today,

the same destiny becomes responsible for making you happy the other day !!

Cheers :D

Never let your spirits down at any cost, no matter what :P

Paddu - Definition ;)

I'm what my Parents <3
Friends \m/
Books 0:)
Food :P
and Sai made me.. :)


PARENTS :

My very 1st friends, known to me since I was born :P
They do each and everything for me in such a way that I could never find any other thing so comfortable.
They've shown me how to live.
They loved and made me watch them do.
They helped silently and made me watch their satisfaction.
They don't just complete me, they leave me incomplete without them.


Love you Mummy and Daddy. Need you.

FRIENDS :

Somethings are better unexpressed.
They fill my heart with such an unending joy, every time I remember them.
Nothing would have been possible without any of them.
Many to name, but I could not bring myself to complete this without mentioning them. But, not here, will write separately. :D


Love you all >:D<

BOOKS :

In my childhood, didn't remember exactly when, Dad told me to read everything and to, take the good and leave the bad, in them.
I just love reading and I love to get lost reading. I'm in love with them :)

FOOD :

=))
I would not be alive to live , to love, to feel, to read and to write this, without eating, right? :P I love food to the core and I enjoy it. Eating is the best thing cause, you're nurturing the God in you and making better the chances of reaching your destiny.

and finally SAI :

My life :)

Hence, I came to know who and what rock my life. \m/
Aipoyindi post :D