I am currently thinking of a situation which is not welcome by my heart.
I just want myself to let go of it, but I fail, repeatedly. And it started to worry me more than it should.
I am someone who acts according to will, and I am so proud of that quality in me.
I decide, I do and I am done. I'm more than happy with this ritual.
I consider many things before I decide which helps me stick to my decision firmly.
I never had to curse myself when it comes to deciding.
I believe, in Sai, who's more than just God to me, and He taught me in many ways, that everything happens for a reason.
It helps me from shrinking when I'm in agony.
It helps me keep the pace irrespective of what they're doing to me.
I can accept anything and everything with a smile, knowing that, there's nothing too important than Sai, who could undoubtedly stay with me even after my life ends.
Now I question myself, when I couldn't help doing the same thing which I planned not to, am I a true believer of magic that can happen ?!
Yes, I am but am acting like some one who doesn't.
And it scared me to the death.
It felt like a punch in my stomach.
It made me curse myself for a moment.
And I realized again, that, no one could ever hurt you with out your consent.
I allowed it to happen, but that's not my mistake.
After all, life's a flow.
May be Sai wanted to teach me some thing important.
He did the same earlier too.
He has His own methodologies of teaching me.
If the lesson can be easily learned, He creates a situation from which I can learn what He intended to teach and makes me realize it myself.
Otherwise He simply strikes me, not in the face, in the heart, to make sure that the lesson was imprinted properly so as to save me from any further similar kind of pain.
I am thankful to Him with all my senses but I know it's not enough.
He will only be satisfied when I prove myself worthy of next lesson by quickly grasping the current one.
I just want myself to let go of it, but I fail, repeatedly. And it started to worry me more than it should.
I am someone who acts according to will, and I am so proud of that quality in me.
I decide, I do and I am done. I'm more than happy with this ritual.
I consider many things before I decide which helps me stick to my decision firmly.
I never had to curse myself when it comes to deciding.
I believe, in Sai, who's more than just God to me, and He taught me in many ways, that everything happens for a reason.
It helps me from shrinking when I'm in agony.
It helps me keep the pace irrespective of what they're doing to me.
I can accept anything and everything with a smile, knowing that, there's nothing too important than Sai, who could undoubtedly stay with me even after my life ends.
Now I question myself, when I couldn't help doing the same thing which I planned not to, am I a true believer of magic that can happen ?!
Yes, I am but am acting like some one who doesn't.
And it scared me to the death.
It felt like a punch in my stomach.
It made me curse myself for a moment.
And I realized again, that, no one could ever hurt you with out your consent.
I allowed it to happen, but that's not my mistake.
After all, life's a flow.
May be Sai wanted to teach me some thing important.
He did the same earlier too.
He has His own methodologies of teaching me.
If the lesson can be easily learned, He creates a situation from which I can learn what He intended to teach and makes me realize it myself.
Otherwise He simply strikes me, not in the face, in the heart, to make sure that the lesson was imprinted properly so as to save me from any further similar kind of pain.
I am thankful to Him with all my senses but I know it's not enough.
He will only be satisfied when I prove myself worthy of next lesson by quickly grasping the current one.
Such a greatest Guru I'm blessed with ♥
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